10 types of Brexit that sound troublingly sexy

We can't help thinking that, while speculating exactly how Brexit could turn out, many journalists have been sneaking peeks at their copies of Viz comic. After all, they have started - inadvertently, we will admit - making the UK's impending exit from the European Union seem several different levels of smutty.

Here are just some of the phrases that have had us going "Fnarr, fnarr!"

  1. "Transitional Brexit"

This is like when you are in a serious relationship, sex included, but then decide to end the relationship while continuing to enjoy the sex. With your ex? Other people? Who knows? Well, we hope you would know, if you ever decided to indulge in a "Transitional Brexit".

  1. "Hokey Cokey Brexit"

In, out, and... erm, yeah, you know what comes next in that song. Sexy for definite... albeit in a weird way. Frankly, it could be innuendo for lots of different things. We'd rather not go into detail.

  1. "Brexit In Name Only"

Like when you first had sex... except that, well, you didn't really have sex, but you said to your friends that you did. Hey, a novice swimmer wouldn't jump straight into the deep end of the pool, right? Ease yourself in gently. Oops, could've phrased that better...

  1. "Bespoke Brexit"

This is what you get to enjoy once you've been in a relationship for a few years. However adventurous your tastes, you get to, erm, push the boat out a bit by then.

  1. "Cliff Edge Brexit"

Look, for your own safety, you shouldn't actually have sex on a cliff edge. However, if it was with one of the gorgeous cast members of Poldark, well, it might make at least a modicum of sense.

  1. "Have Cake And Eat It Brexit"

Going by the traditional meaning of "have cake and eat it", this could be about getting your own way a little too often in the bedroom. Or maybe involving food in your erotic exploits. It's fair to say that, in the case of many of us, sex and food are two of our favourite things.

  1. "Messy Brexit"

Ever had what, at the time, felt like really good sex, only to slowly realise that it was actually sort of weird and sick? That's obviously what this is all about.

  1. "Rough Brexit"

Who doesn't like the occasional bit of rough sex? Just make sure that both of you consent. For Brexit itself, this clearly means another referendum and/or parliamentary approval of the exit deal.

  1. "Hard Brexit"

We're already looking forward to the first few porn movies that are actually called "Hard Brexit". Hey, it's just too good a pun to resist. Frankly, this kind of Brexit has to be more satisfying than a "Soft Brexit", for which we would surely recommend Viagra.

  1. "Brexit Without Tears, Norway-Style"

Yes, we're ending on a positive note: a comfortable way of losing your virginity. Admittedly, we don't exactly know loads about Norway, but we assume that its schools must be teaching sex education well. Why else would the press use the phrase "Norway-style"? Ahem.