What more honourable festive tradition could there possibly be than the awful Christmas gift? We’ve all had at least one – most probably, quite a few. Well, here are a few more that you might want to contemplate adding to your wish list or giving to that fortunate (or unfortunate) someone.
A mug is one of the most useful gifts that you can get anyone at Christmas, but it’s also nice to be able to send out a message about how you feel about them. So, why not get them a mug that implies you consider them to be a bit... erm, ‘icky’?
Yes, that’s definitely the message communicated by this classy ICK mug available from Prezzybox for £9.95 right now. Forget that illogically shaped ‘D’ handle, we’re sure you’ll tell them... that’s just, nothing.
Treasure seeker’s shoes
Hunting for riches that may be buried deep underground is something that many of us at least fantasised about doing in our childhoods – or for that matter, actually did do.
But walking around with a metal detector as an adult? No chance – there are just too many associations with trainspotter-type nerds or weird old beardies. That’s why it’s so handy that there are dedicated treasure seeker’s shoes in existence that enable you to go sifting for metal in the dirt while still looking vaguely socially acceptable.
They work in a pretty nifty way, consisting of a pair of black sandals that basically just resemble any other pair of beach sandals, and a pack that is strapped to your leg and beeps whenever you pass over something for which it might be worth getting on your hands and knees to dig.
The unit has three LEDs – green for normal circumstances in which nothing has been detected, yellow for those occasions when something vaguely worth digging for is sensed, and red for those times when the system reckons there really is a special item lying somewhere deep beneath your feet. You can get your treasure seeker’s shoes from Iwantoneofthose.com now.
Hot cookie cup warmer
Totally Funky is another great place to look for novelty gifts, not least on account of this cup warmer that has been made to resemble an Oreo cookie.
It can be powered from any free USB port on a PC or Mac, and keeps drinks warm at 50 degrees C, saving you from having to drink tepid coffee or cold tea simply because you were distracted for a while by a cat video on YouTube or (more likely, we’re sure) that all-important client email in the office.
Voodoo knife block and knives
If you’re going to keep your knives anywhere, make it this fabulous contraption by Italian design guru Raffaele Iannello. The set comprises not only the fetching knife block itself, but also five stainless steel knives – namely a paring knife, bread knife, carving knife and a large and small chopping knife.
Perfect for your weird aunt who’s into voodoo, a divorced female friend or as a treat for yourself, this block holds the knives in place with magnets and provides a great humorous touch for any kitchen. Pick up yours in red or black for just £54.99 from Iwantoneofthose.com.
Crying with laughter emoji slippers
You’re reading this on a matched betting site, and might even be a Profit Accumulator member, so we’re going to presume that you’re well abreast of the common online ‘lingo’, including the world of emojis.
Well, why not bring those adorable faces to your life away from the computer or smartphone screen with these comfy slippers? They can be yours (or a friend or relative’s, obviously) for just £14.99 from GettingPersonal, with small, medium and large sizes all available.
Those who want to look like a rap star despite working in marketing in Slough will be delighted to be able to introduce this suitably chav-tastic mug to their office.
It’s the same as any other mug, holding liquids in much the same way, except that the handle consists of three glistening sovereign rings that are sure to blind someone if they just happen to look at it from the wrong angle when the sun falls upon it, or something. Whatever – you can have one for a very reasonable £5.10, again courtesy of Iwantoneofthose.com.
Blood bath shower curtain
Whether you’re a seasoned watcher of all things Hitchcock or your penchant for horror doesn’t go much further than Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” video, it has to be tempting to nab this must-have bathroom accessory for £13.99 from Iwantoneofthose.com.
At the very least, any guests of yours will freak out a bit, while you do your best Vincent Price cackle in the background. At worst, you’ll do a double-take on the morning after that nightmare you had about being chased by a werewolf into a haunted house, while reminding yourself that you’re probably too old to still be reading Goosebumps.
Poo flinging game
If you’ve ever been called a “poo head” or felt that you were one yourself, well, now you have the chance to prove those credentials with the poo flinging game that can be purchased from Prezzybox.
The premise is as simple as it sounds – you strap on a hat with which you attempt to catch poos that are thrown at you. Take turns with others to catch as many poos as you can! We’ll leave you to decide the ‘prize’ for the winner – maybe something that’ll distract you from the thought that you’ve just been competing to catch poos on your head. Some nice chocolate, perhaps.
Wait, we’ve got another idea...
As terrible (in a good way) as many of these gifts are, there’s only so much ‘jokey’ stuff that you can give someone for Christmas until some of the humour perhaps begins to grow thin.
So, what to do? Well, we’d suggest getting that special someone a true Christmas present with a difference – a Profit Accumulator membership!
This is certainly one gift that won’t lose its value or interest after Boxing Day, as we make it easy for all of our members to quickly start making money, through our intuitive interface that continually presents all of the latest and most lucrative opportunities to generate cash.
Sign up a membership for someone today or take the plunge yourself – either way, you’ll still be thanking us for it by next Christmas!